Confessions
by kmfc17
Summary: What I wished happened with ADDEX in the crossover episodes.


This is just a little one shot based on the crossover episode. It is what I wish would have happened between Addie and Alex. I can always dream. I hope you loke it and please review

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Alex wasn't a bad person, he really wasn't. So why did he feel bad wishing Archer Montgomery's recovery would go by slower? He knew why, because that meant a certain redhead that drove him crazy would stay longer. And having these thoughts only made him feel worse because it meant he was being disloyal to Izzie but he couldn't help it. The moment he saw Addison walk back in the hospital his mind stopped working and his heart took over his actions. He wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms and make all her worries go away. Alex never had an interest in neuro but at that moment he wished he was a neurosurgeon so he could perform the miracle Addison was looking for, because that would mean he would be responsible for putting that smile he loved back on her face. Alex tried to act as if he didn't care, he was the ass and he liked it because it meant no one got to him, no one except Addison. She always got under his skin, and it broke his heart when she walked out of Seattle Grace, and so Alex just settled now. He no longer wanted that rush of one night stands, he didn't care that Izzie was having sex with Denny's ghost, because deep down he was envious of her ability to see her lost love, because all Alex could do is think of Addison. And this is why he needed to make things right before she once again walked out of his life. The problem was Alex didn't know how to make it right, and this is why he prayed Archer Montgomery's recovery would go by really slowly because it meant he could 'accidentally' bump into Addison, and he knew he could always get her involved with some babies, and this meant being in the same room with her and more chances for Alex to gather courage and speak those words that had been in his mind for so long.

The days pass and he can't help but feel afraid that one day he will come into the hospital and she will be gone, and this is why he is no longer leaving the hospital, he just uses on call rooms to take quick naps, and this is why Alex hasn't seen Izzie in days and doesn't really care either. He is ready to talk to Addison when Dr. Sheppard gets her to consult in a case, and then things escalate and is like when she first came in the hospital and they fought constantly in every corner of the hospital. He knows this is not personal but still feels like killing Sheppard when he makes her cry, and this fury inside is what leads him to the stairs hoping to find a moment of solice to get himself together and go back out where she is and make sure she knows he is there even if she only looks at you as a resident doing his job. And this, in the last place he expected is where he finds her, sitting down against the wall with silent tears running down her face and you can't help but fall more in love with this magnificent woman. She doesn't show any signs of noticing you, and you just sit beside her. She finally looks at you

"Karev shouldn't you be getting the patient ready?"

I can tell she is not happy about this surgery but turns to her professionalism to hide her feelings

"You know I agree with you about the surgery"

"Well I appreciate it but it looks like my opinion doesn't count in this hospital anymore"

"That's not true, you are a great neonatal surgeon, your opinion matters"

"That's not what it looked like to me out there"

"It matters to me" She then turns to look at me, and I once again want to kill Sheppard because her eyes are red and sad

"Why do you do this Karev? Why are you an ass sometimes and the sweetest guy another times?"

"I guess that's my charm"

"You know you don't fool me Alex" I noticed her use of my first name but don't mention it in hopes that she will keep going and I can get an insight in what she is thinking. "You are a guy who cares about patients, and you care about people but you put up this front of being an insensitive jerk. Wel I see through you and I think you have become a great doctor"

"That's thanks to you Addison and for what is worth I am sorry" I hope she knows why I am apologizing and as soon as I look into her eyes I know she understands.

"That's okay, don't worry, what happened was for the best" She starts getting up to leave and I grow desperate because I don't think I'll get another chance so I hold her arm.

"No is not okay. That night I lied to you and I lied to myself" I see I have her attention and I am encouraged to keep going. "When I told you you weren't my girlfriend I was dying inside. Because Addison what I really wanted was to take you into my arms and make love to you in the middle of the waiting room. Because in case you haven't noticed I fell in love with you a long time ago and when you left Seattle I tried to make my heart stop loving you but I couldn't. I tried with Rebecca and with Izzie but they weren't you"

"Alex please don't. I have moved on and I have a good life in L.A. now, so please don't"

"I am sorry but I need to say what I have been holding on to for a long time, and I think you need to hear it too because even though you say you have a good life your eyes say different and your smile doesn't reach your eyes" I am now touching her face and I let myself feel good about the fact that she isn't moving my hand away. She just closed her eyes as if by doing this she could hide from me."So I guess what I need to make sure you know is that I love you, I have loved you for a long time even if I was denying it to myself. I am ready to follow you to the end of the world and I am ready to be that Sunday barbecue guy you want, I am ready to be yours. I don't know if you feel the same way about me but I want you to know that I am here for your regardless"

She doesn't say anything, tears are once again falling down her face, I reach out to stop them and this seems to trigger her to cry harder, and I realize she needs this, she needs to cry, so I hug her and pass my hands through her beautiful hair. She is now sobbing hard on my shirt and I don't care. I actually feel good that she is letting me be here for her and console her in what small way I can and that is how we stay for some time.

"I am not sorry" I hear her whisper "I am not sorry for what happened between us because it made me a stronger person"

"Addison, ever since I met you I knew you were a strong person. You are one of the strongest person I know" She is now looking at me but I can't read her face, she chuckles at my words and my heart feels lighter.

"I wasn't strong. Just like you pretend to be an ass I always felt the need to pretend to be composed and strong, even cold" I am about to tell her she's not cold but she puts her finger to my mouth silencing me "I always needed to feel in control of my emotions and of my problems, but you changed that Alex. You made me weak, and that's why I left because I couldn't hide how much you hurt me, so I ran and started a new life. A life where I am in control and it has been working out really good for me. I was seeing new people and I was laughing and having fun" My hopes that she still feels something for me are diminishing with each word coming out of her mouth but I let her continue, because even if she's about to tell me she doesn't feel anything for me and send me to hell I want to hear it. " But then I walk back in here and I see you and I realized I never stopped loving you. I don't really recall when I fell in love with yout but I do know I haven't stopped loving you and all I want to do is be in your arms and let you take all my worries away"

I think my heart is going to explode in my chest, I am still processing her words because I want to make sure I didn't dream them. I look a her face and see a smile and that is all I need to know I am not dreaming. I pull her towards me and I kiss her. Its a desperate kiss, because I want her to be mine, she immediately responds and I feel like I am falling in an abyss. I could make her mine once again right here, but I force myself to gain control of my body because that is not what this is about anymore. I am not just after amazing sex, Addison is it for me, she is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with and once in my life I am going to make things right. So I pull away and I see she is as out of breath as me and I decide to be the first one to ask the question that I am sure is also in her mind.

"So where do we go from here?"

"I don't care where, as long as we are together" Alex no longer cares how long Archer Montgomery's recovery takes.

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Just press that little green button and let me know wha you think. Thanks


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